“The Ultimate Computer” is your basic Luddite computer-goes-nuts plot. Kirk is upset when computer genius Dr Richard Daystrom is assigned to test his new M-5 computer unit on board the Enterprise. The M-5, according to Daystrom, is capable of taking over all the functions of the ship’s captain and most of the crew. Accordingly, most of the crew disembark on Starbase 6, leaving a skeleton crew of 20 aboard to supervise tests of the M-5, including a war game scenario with other Federation ships.

Kirk spends most of the first half of the episode moping about being replaced by a machine and making speeches about how a computer could never do the job with the same feeling as a human. Meanwhile the M-5 performs admirably, although disconcertingly it cuts power to a couple of decks – but this is explained by Daystrom as efficiency, since those decks contained no personnel. In a bit of foreshadowing, Kirk asks why it is M-5, not M-1. Daystrom replies that versions 1 to 4 were “not entirely successful“. Spock also comments that, lamentably, it is so far not possible to replace the ship’s surgeon with a machine – foreshadowing the later appearance of the holographic doctor in Star Trek: Voyager.

Of course the M-5 goes rogue, treating the war games simulated attack by four Federation vessels as a real attack and firing back with full phasers, severely damaging Commodore Wesley’s USS Lexington and killing everyone on board the USS Excalibur. When Kirk and Scotty try to pull the plug, they discover the M-5 has developed a damaging force field to protect itself and is now sucking unrestrained amounts of power directly from the warp engine reactor. Daystrom is surprised, but also inordinately pleased with his baby, descending by degrees into full blown mad scientist mode as he defends its actions and laments his past glories and how nobody understands him any more.

Wesley contacts Starfleet Command, asking for permission to destroy the Enterprise, a message Kirk hears but cannot respond to because the M-5 has locked communications. Permission is given, and things look hopeless. But then Kirk talks to the M-5, trying to reason with it on its own terms. Daystrom never intended it to kill humans, and in fact loaded his own personality engrams into the M-5 to give it his morals. When Kirk points out that the M-5 has murdered, the M-5 destroys itself in a fit of logic. Kirk is getting really good at talking rogue computers to death – it’s the 4th or 5th time he’s done it in the series so far. However, comms are still down and Wesley is about to attack. Kirk orders shields lowered, leaving the Enterprise completely vulnerable. Wesley interprets this correctly and calls off the attack. There’s a moral about Kirk knowing Wesley would do so, because he was human, not a computer.

One interesting point is that Kirk refers to the M-5 as a mass of “circuits and relays”. I guess relays are back in vogue in the 23rd century. Overall, it’s not a bad plot, just very predictable. An average episode, I’d say.

Tropes: Ludd Was Right, Master Computer, Foreshadowing, Unseen Prototype, AI Is A Crapshoot, Cut The Juice, Mad Scientist, Mama Didn’t Raise No Criminal, Glory Days, Brain Uploading, Logic Bomb, An Aesop.
Body count: Unnamed engineering ensign, at least 53 crew of USS Lexington, entire crew of USS Excalibur (over 400).

Back into the reviews after my vacation! Unfortunately, the next episode is “The Omega Glory“…

It starts promisingly enough, with the Enterprise arriving at planet Omega IV to find the USS Exeter in orbit, apparently abandoned. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Lieutenant Galloway beam over to investigate and find the crew apparently dehydrated into crystals within their uniforms. A nice juicy mystery! The fact that the beaming party later discover they have been infected with the agent causing this makes one wonder why beaming over, without protective suits, was the first option – even before so much as a scan of the Exeter. Starfleet has a lot of regulations, but apparently very few of them cover routine crew safety.

Checking the last log recorded on board, they see the Exeter‘s medical officer warning anyone on board to beam down to the planet immediately. The party does so, right into the middle of an execution scene, with Asian-looking natives attempting to behead a belligerent Caucasian-looking man and his fur-bikini-clad partner. Captain Tracey of the Exeter appears to break up the scene (amazingly, with an entire planet to choose from, they beamed down within a few metres of him). Tracey explains that the villagers, known as Kohms, have to deal with the threat of attack by the primitive and savage tribespeople known as Yangs. He also explains that the planet provides a natural immunity to the infection that killed his crew. Although they are now safe, they can never leave the planet.

Tracey is glad to have McCoy, because he thinks the immunity factor on the planet can be isolated and used to cure them, then be marketed to the Federation as a fountain of youth. Kirk objects, pointing out how Tracey is violating the Prime Directive by helping the Kohms defend themselves against the Yangs. After the obligatory fist fight, Tracey kills Galloway and throws Kirk and Spock into prison with the two spared Yangs from earlier. McCoy is assigned to work on a serum.

McCoy discovers there is no fountain of youth – the natives simply have naturally long lives. He also learns that the Kohms and Yangs were great civilisations, but fought a bacteriological war that reduced them to primitive states. When Kirk mentions the word “freedom” while discussing escape with Spock, the Yang male stops attacking him and starts talking, saying that “freedom” is a Yang worship word. Kirk deduces that this is a parallel of Earth, with Yankees (Yangs) and Communists (Kohms). This inverts things, with the peaceful Kohm villagers now revealed to be oppressive, while the primitive Yangs are in fact noble savages. Kirk helps the Yangs escape, but they knock him out.

Kirk and Spock escape later. In a showdown fight with Tracey, Kirk indulges in a couple of needless acrobatic dives over a wall and behind a large jar. Tracey corners him, but when firing the fatal shot discovers his phaser is out of power. Cue more fighting, while in the background the massed Yang forces conquer the Kohm village. The Yangs capture all the Starfleet personnel. The Yangs are now revealed to be the rightful owners of this territory, and bring in a battle standard that bears an uncanny resemblance to the Stars & Stripes, complete with “Star Spangled Banner” musical motif. The Yang leader begins reciting some holy words, which Kirk recognises as a garbled version of the Pledge of Allegiance, and finishes off in a rousing speech.

Tracey counters that Kirk is a devil. The Yangs decide to settle the matter by forcing Kirk and Tracey to fight to the death. Kirk wins, of course, but shows mercy, of course. The Yangs are impressed and declare Kirk a god. Kirk looks at their holy documents – a copy of the US Constitution, and declares that the words and concepts therein should apply to everyone, not just Yangs. The Yangs don’t understand, but say they will heed Kirk’s wise words. In the denouement, Spock raises the extremely pertinent question of whether Kirk himself has violated the Prime Directive. Kirk brushes it off, saying he was doing the right thing.

Wow, what a lousy episode. The set up is intriguing, but it devolves into a reality-suspender-busting mish-mash of ridiculously parallel history, racism, and jingoism. Spock even lampshades the uncanny nature of the parallel history with Earth, stating, “the parallel is almost too close.” But even this trick doesn’t work to make the story believable. And the last few minutes, with Kirk spouting patriotic Americanisms to a bunch of space savages is truly painful. It’s just horrible.

Tropes: Red Shirt, Skeleton Crew, Empty Piles Of Clothing, Fur Bikini, Fountain of Youth, Alien Non-Interference Clause, Training The Peaceful Villagers, All For Nothing, Bat Deduction, Space Romans, Red Scare, Noble Savage, That Sounds Familiar, Involuntary Battle To The Death, God Guise, Screw The Rules, I’m Doing What’s Right, Lampshade Hanging.
Body count: Over 400 crew of the USS Exeter (turned into crystals off-screen, pre-credits), Lieutenant Galloway (phasered by Captain Tracey).

I was amazed while watching “By Any Other Name” that I didn’t really remember anything about the story unfolding before me. I was racking my brain trying to think how the episode resolved, but couldn’t recall it. And then, 5 minutes before the end, I realised why, when my DVD glitched and refused to play any more. Then I remembered, this happened the first few times I tried to watch this episode on DVD as well – my disk is clearly borked in that spot. Undaunted, I found a copy of the video online and watched the last 5 minutes so I could complete this review.

And it’s a shame I hadn’t been able to watch it to completion on DVD before, because it’s a pretty good episode. It begins with the Enterprise answering a distress call and Kirk, Spock, McCoy, redshirted security officer Shea, and pretty young Yeoman Thompson beaming down to a planet to investigate. They are met by Rojan and Kelinda, who soon reveal themselves to be Kelvans from the Andromeda Galaxy, equipped with paralysis field devices that can stop people motionless. Kelinda is also equipped with a full-back-revealing costume that attracts Kirk’s eye. They also demonstrate the ability to turn people into fist-sized dehydrated cuboctahedrons, which can either be reconstituted into an unharmed person, or crushed, thus killing the person. They demonstrate this on Shea and Thompson, and you just know that black guy Shea will be the one they’ve killed, but when the remaining solid is reconstituted, Shea reappears, meaning that the luckless Yeoman Thompson has been the victim.

Rojan, Kelinda, and their handful of associates capture the landing party. Spock attempts an escape by reusing a trick that Kirk says he used on Eminiar 7 – a reference to the episode “A Taste of Armageddon“. But this time the attempted mind control on Kelinda backfires and Spock is temporarily incapacitated. Later, Kirk asks Spock to use his self-trance ability to feign illness so he and McCoy can beam back to the Enterprise on the pretence of treating Spock. This is pulled out of thin air, as we’ve never previously seen Spock demonstrate such an ability, and frankly they could have avoided it easily because soon after the Kelvans return everyone to the ship which they take over and start heading to Andromeda. Their plan is to report back that our Galaxy is prime for invasion, after 300 years in transit in which only their descendants will arrive.

The rest of the story is about how Kirk and crew solve the problem of dealing with uberpowerful aliens. Scotty sets up a self-destruct to destroy the ship, and any threat of invasion, but Kirk opts for a third option. The breakthrough comes when Spock realises they are higher beings, taking human form only for convenience, meaning they are unused to human sensory inputs. They notice this when one Kelvan expresses first disdain at the primary coloured food cubes they are eating, claiming food pills are better, then delight when he actually tastes them. McCoy starts injecting this Kelvan with stimulants, claiming he needs vitamins, while Scotty starts getting another one drunk. Kirk turns his attention to Kelinda, seducing her in the line of duty, while Spock discusses this development with Rojan and points out that Rojan is getting jealous. Kelinda is initially bluntly straightforward: “Oh, you are trying to seduce me,” but then starts to enjoy it. Spock’s discussion with Rojan takes place over a game of 3D chess, in which we also see in the rec room the 3D checkers set, and a deck of circular playing cards (see above picture).

Rojan and Kirk have a confrontation over Kelinda, resulting in a fight, in which Kirk restrains Rojan, then suggests that Rojan is now more human then Kelvan. Kirk says the Kelvans would hardly recognise Rojan’s people now, and that his mission was to find somewhere for Kelvans to live. Kirk suggests the Kelvans could work with the Federation and plenty of empty planets could be found for them. They agree to send a robotic probe to Andromeda rather than take the Enterprise there, and the episode ends in a chummy new-found friendship after Kelinda declares she wants Rojan, not Kirk. It’s a bit if an abrupt ending, with most of the Enterprise crew still dehydrated into cuboctahedrons (we saw one on Uhura’s chair earlier), but presumably that will be remedied before the next episode. Overall, a pretty satisfying episode, with plenty of action, drama, romance, comedy (Scotty and the drunk Kelvan), and mystery over how the good guys can possibly prevail in the end.

Tropes: Literary Allusion Title, Theiss Titillation Theory, Taken For Granite, Instant People, Just Add Water, Literally Shattered Lives, Black Dude Dies First (shockingly averted), Men Are The Expendable Gender (also shockingly averted), New Powers As The Plot Demands, All Your Base Are Belong To Us, Generation Ships, Self Destruct Mechanism, Take A Third Option, The Mind Is A Plaything Of The Body, Food Pills, Drinking Contest, What Is This Thing You Call Love?.
Body count: Yeoman Thompson (dehydrated into a cuboctahedron and crushed).

“Patterns of Force” is infamous as “the Nazi episode”. I was not looking forward to rewatching this one, remembering it as so over the top that it resembled a pantomime rather than a decent attempt at science fiction. However, I was pleasantly surprised.

It begins with the Enterprise shown against not one, but two planets. We learn these are the planets Ekos and Zeon. They’re heading to Ekos to pick up Earth historian John Gill from a long stint observing the local culture. The Ekosians fire a nuclear missile at the Enterprise – it is harmlessly destroyed, but the Ekosians should not have that level of technology. They were pre-atomic at last report, though the Zeons had primitive interplanetary spaceflight. Kirk fears Gill may have contaminated the Ekosian culture, violating the Prime Directive, and decides to beam down with Spock to investigate. McCoy injects them with subcutaneous tracking devices in case they can’t radio back for some reason – this raises the question of why all landing parties aren’t routinely equipped with such devices.

They discover Ekos has a culture almost identical to Nazi Germany, with Gill himself as the Führer. Zeons who have colonised Ekos are persecuted in a transparent analogy to Nazi persecution of Jews. At this point I realised the fairly obvious mapping of “Zeon” to “Zion”, and this continued with the names of several Zeons being things like Abrom and Isak. We even see footage of the Führer announcing the “Final Decision” to rid Ekos of all Zeons. These parallels all start to strain credulity, making the entire setup seem increasingly hokey, but don’t give up on this episode just yet.

Kirk and Spock steal some Nazi uniforms and try to see Gill, but end up captured, stripped shirtless, and whipped. Their captors say they have standing orders to kill all prisoners immediately after an interrogation attempt, but a senior SS official tells him to let them suffer for a bit to see if they will talk. Kirk and Spock are thrown into a cell, where Isak is also being held – but if they kill all prisoners, why is Isak there? They break out of prison by MacGyvering a laser out of their implanted transponders and a light bulb (involving a comedy scene with Spock standing on Kirk’s raw whipped back) and join up with an underground resistance of Zeons, which also includes Daras, an Ekosian woman decorated as a hero of the Reich with the Iron Cross, but sympathetic to the Zeons. They hatch a plan to sneak into Nazi HQ and see Gill by disguising Kirk, Spock, and some Zeons as reporters filming Daras. This is amusing, as Kirk is constantly taking footage of Daras from about half a metre away.

They meet Melakon, Gill’s second in command, who it turns out is running things, with Gill heavily drugged and manipulated into giving the appearance of giving speeches. McCoy gets invited down, dressed as an SS doctor, to help revive Gill. After some fighting, they reach Gill and McCoy injects him with a stimulant, but it’s not enough to rouse him. McCoy says he doesn’t dare risk another shot, and then has to leave the room, at which point Kirk promptly injects Gill a second time. Gill recovers long enough to mutter an apology – he thought introducing Nazism would make the Ekosians into an efficient developing culture, but Melakon twisted it. It sounds a bit weird when put like that, but Spock backs him up, stating that Nazi Germany, considered without its social and war policies, was economically and technologically advanced. (Apparently this was a popular view in the 1960s, as I discovered with some research, before it was discovered the Nazi economy was in fact built on foundations of sand.) Melakon appears and shoots Gill, but Isak shoots Melakon, and the surviving senior Nazis decide war is silly and they should be friends with the Zeons.

In the denouement, Kirk declares that, “Even historians fail to learn from history and repeat the same mistakes.” It sure sounds like a hokey episode, but watching it carefully it’s surprising how tightly scripted the drama is. There’s no unnecessary padding or filler here – the episode runs to a full 46 minutes when most other episodes are about 42, and very little of that could have been cut. The allusions are certainly in your face, but there is a decent enough in-story justification for this alien planet to look exactly like Nazi Germany, once you get to it. And the moral lesson is also pointed, but again, it makes sense within the story, and the story itself is actually not bad. I’m rating this one a surprisingly above average.

Tropes: Planet Of Hats, A Nazi By Any Other Name, Nazi Germany, Space Jews, Dressing As The Enemy, Shirtless Scene, MacGyvering, Locking MacGyver In The Store Cupboard, Human Ladder, No Delays For The Wicked, An Aesop.
Body count: John Gill (machine gunned), Melakon (shot).